5 Steps to Take for Child Access If You Are Denied Access to Your Children in England and Wales
Being denied access to your children can be an incredibly painful and frustrating experience. This situation can have an emotional impact on the whole family, affecting not just the parent but every family member involved. Whether it’s following a separation, divorce, or a breakdown in communication with your ex-partner, it’s essential to know that you do have rights - and there are clear legal steps you can take in England and Wales to regain contact.
This guide outlines five practical steps you can take if you’re being denied access to your child, helping you navigate the family law process with confidence.
Step 1: Stay Calm and Keep Records
Why It Matters: Emotions often run high during custody disputes. However, it’s crucial to stay composed and keep detailed records of what’s happening. Keeping records is especially helpful in case of disagreements about child access, as they provide clear evidence of what occurred.
What to Do:
Log dates and times when contact was denied.
Save messages or emails from your ex-partner that refer to access arrangements.
Avoid arguments or threats - these can be used against you in future legal proceedings.
Keep copies of any parenting plans or court orders already in place.
Keeping detailed records can be helpful for clarifying what happened during disagreements.
Tip: These records can be vital if you end up in court or need to show a mediator your side of the story.
Step 2: Try to Resolve the Issue Amicably
Why It Matters: Courts and mediators in England and Wales always promote cooperation between parents wherever possible. A peaceful solution is often faster and less stressful for everyone involved - especially the children.
What to Do:
Politely ask your ex-partner for clarification on why access is being restricted.
Try to speak directly or talk openly with your ex-partner to resolve the issue, aiming to reach an agreement about child access.
Suggest temporary compromises that can help rebuild trust and re-establish contact.
Try using written communication to avoid misunderstandings.
Important: If there’s a valid safeguarding concern (e.g., allegations of abuse), different steps will apply. You should seek legal advice immediately.
Step 3: Attend a Family Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)
Why It Matters: In most family disputes, the law requires you to attend a MIAM before applying to court for a Child Arrangements Order. Mediation is often faster, cheaper, and more amicable than court proceedings, with lower costs compared to going to court.
What Is a MIAM?
A MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is a confidential meeting with a trained mediator.
The mediator will explain your options and assess whether mediation is suitable.
Only mediators accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign the necessary forms after a MIAM.
If mediation goes ahead, both parents meet with a mediator to reach a mutually agreed contact arrangement.
The mediation process involves a series of mediation sessions where the mediator helps both parties work towards agreements on child arrangements and other issues. Most mediation sessions result in agreements that help resolve disputes without the need for court intervention.
Child inclusive mediation is also an option, allowing the child's views to be considered during the mediation process to ensure their voice is heard.
The family mediation voucher scheme can help cover the cost of mediation sessions for eligible families, providing up to £500 towards these costs. Legal aid may be available for those on a low income, and eligible parents can have the cost of the MIAM and the first mediation session covered, making mediation more accessible and affordable.
You can attend a digital MIAM online through services like Digital MIAM to speed up the process.
Step 4: Apply for a Child Arrangements Order (If Necessary)
Why It Matters: If mediation fails or your ex-partner refuses to cooperate, you may need to go to court. Going to court is necessary in circumstances where mediation has not resolved the dispute, or in cases involving domestic abuse or other special conditions. The court can decide what’s in the best interest of the child by issuing a Child Arrangements Order under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989.
What to Do:
Complete and submit Form C100 to apply to the Family Court.
You may also need to include a MIAM certificate, unless you’re exempt due to circumstances such as domestic abuse.
The court may arrange a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA) where a Cafcass officer will get involved.
What the Court Considers:
The child’s welfare is the top priority, and the court will look at the child's interests when making child arrangements.
The “no order” principle - the court will only make an order if it believes it’s necessary.
The wishes and feelings of the child, depending on their age and maturity.
The court considers how making arrangements for how much time the child spends with each parent can affect the child's routine, well-being, and emotional stability. For example, parenting arrangements may be adjusted during school holidays or to fit around the child's school schedule, ensuring minimal disruption to their education.
The court may also look at which parent the child lives with most of the time (one parent), and how proximity to schools or the child's school can influence decisions about living arrangements.
Arrangements about how much time the child spends with each parent can also affect money and pay, such as child maintenance obligations.
Remember: A court order is legally binding - if your ex-partner breaches it, they could face legal consequences, including fines or enforcement action.
Step 5: Enforce a Court Order If It’s Breached
Why It Matters: If you already have a Child Arrangements Order in place but your ex is ignoring it, you can take action to enforce the order.
What to Do:
Apply using Form C79 to ask the court to enforce the order.
The court can issue a warning notice, impose community service, or even change the contact arrangements.
Repeated breaches may influence future custody decisions.
You may want to seek support from a qualified person, such as a solicitor or legal adviser, to help you understand your options and guide you through the enforcement process.
Serious Cases: If a parent continues to block contact, the court can consider transferring residence to the other parent.
Final Thoughts: Prioritising Your Child’s Wellbeing
Being denied access to your children is heartbreaking, but you are not powerless. By following these five steps, you can begin the process of restoring your parental relationship in a constructive and legally sound way.
Resolving child access issues benefits families as a whole and helps maintain positive relationships between all family members. Remember, the focus of the family courts and mediators is always the best interest of the child - and that typically means having a relationship with both parents.
Need Help Today?
If you’re facing child contact issues, start with a MIAM through a trusted provider like Digital MIAM. Our service is:
Fully online
30% cheaper than most traditional providers
Backed by qualified mediators
Take the first step towards resolving your dispute - book your MIAM today.
FAQs: Denied Child Contact in England & Wales
Q: Can I call the police if I’m denied access to my child?
A: If there’s no court order in place, this is considered a civil matter. The police are unlikely to intervene unless there’s an immediate safety concern.
Q: How long does it take to get a Child Arrangements Order?
A: The process can take several weeks to months, depending on court backlogs, complexity, and cooperation between parties.
Q: Can a mother stop a father from seeing their child?
A: Only if there is a genuine safeguarding concern. Otherwise, both parents have rights and responsibilities under the law.
Q: Can a relative or friend help with child contact arrangements?
A: Yes, a trusted relative or friend can sometimes help facilitate safe contact or supervise exchanges, especially if direct contact between parents is not safe or practical. This can be particularly useful in situations where there are concerns about safety or communication.
Q: What if there has been domestic abuse?
A: If domestic abuse has occurred, special rules apply to child contact arrangements. Mediation may not be appropriate, and the court process will consider the safety of both the child and the vulnerable parent. Always inform your solicitor or the court if domestic abuse is a factor.