Managing Child Support Payments Through Mediation: Agreements Made Easy

Sorting out child support after a separation or divorce can be one of the most emotionally and financially sensitive parts of co-parenting. While some parents turn to the courts, more and more families are choosing family mediation to reach fair, legally recognised child support agreements - and with good reason.

In addition to child support, separating couples may also need to address other financial matters such as alimony payments (also known as spousal support) and the division of property.

It is important to seek professional advice to ensure you understand your rights and options when navigating child support and alimony arrangements.

In this guide, we’ll explain:

• What child support covers

• How family mediation works, including the role of the Family Mediation Council

• The different forms of alimony, including permanent alimony and rehabilitative alimony

• Why mediation is a better alternative to court

• How to make your agreement legally binding

Whether you’re just starting the process or revisiting an old agreement, this article will help you make informed decisions that put your child first.

What Does Child Support Cover?

Child support (also called child maintenance) is a regular financial contribution from one parent to the other, intended to cover the child's basic living costs and protect the child's welfare by ensuring the child's needs are met.

It typically includes:

• Housing, food, and clothing

• Education and school supplies

• Transport and extracurricular costs

• Medical and health-related expenses

Child maintenance is designed to support children and their needs.

Both parents are responsible for making sure the child's needs are provided for, regardless of who pays or receives child support.

In the UK, the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) can calculate statutory payments, but you don’t have to go through them - especially if you and your ex-spouse can come to an agreement yourselves. The money provided through child support is specifically allocated for the child's benefit.

Understanding Alimony and Spousal Support

Alongside child support payments, many separating couples need to consider alimony paid to a spouse or ex-spouse. Alimony is a form of financial support provided to a spouse who may have a lower income or is not yet self-sufficient after separation or divorce. Alimony recipients are typically spouses who require financial support after divorce.

There are different forms of alimony:

• Permanent alimony: Ongoing payments intended to maintain the recipient’s lifestyle similar to that during the marriage, often awarded in long-term marriages.

• Rehabilitative alimony: Temporary support designed to help the recipient become financially independent, such as funding education or job training. Alimony is often awarded when there is a higher income disparity between spouses.

The amount and duration of alimony depend on several factors, including the length of the marriage, the income disparity between spouses, and the recipient’s needs. Courts may consider the payer’s ability to provide financial support and the recipient’s efforts towards self-sufficiency. The payer is the spouse responsible for making the alimony payment, while the payee is the spouse who receives the payment. The structure of alimony payments, including the amount and frequency, is determined by the court. When determining alimony, courts assess various factors, and marital fault may be a factor in determining the amount or duration of support. The relationship between the spouses, such as the length and nature of the marriage, also influences support arrangements. Alimony is a legal obligation established by the court, and courts may set a specific end date for alimony payments. Women have historically been both payers and recipients of alimony, but gender roles in alimony awards are evolving.

Why Choose Mediation for Child Support and Alimony Agreements?

Family mediation is a voluntary, confidential process where separated parents and spouses work with a trained, neutral mediator to resolve disputes and reach practical solutions. The Family Mediation Council oversees standards for mediators to ensure expertise and fairness.

Parties may seek mediation as an alternative to court to resolve child support and alimony issues, allowing them to address these matters collaboratively rather than through litigation.

Mediation is generally less stressful than court proceedings, offering a supportive environment for all family members. It helps maintain positive relationships by providing a constructive way to resolve arguments and can positively affect co-parenting and post-marriage arrangements.

Benefits of using mediation for child support and alimony:

Faster resolution – avoid long court delays

Cost-effective – significantly cheaper than legal battles involving solicitors

More control – you decide the terms, not a judge

Less conflict – promotes cooperation and co-parenting

Legally recognised – agreements can be made binding via court order or solicitor

Mediation focuses on what’s fair for the child and the spouses, not just what’s legally enforceable.

What Happens During a Mediation Session?

Here’s how it usually works:

MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting):

Each party attends a one-to-one meeting with a mediator to explore whether mediation is suitable.

Joint Mediation Sessions:

If both agree to proceed, sessions are arranged (in person or online). The mediator facilitates discussions around:

• Income and expenses of both parents/spouses

• Parenting schedules and child support costs

• Alimony payments and special circumstances (e.g., disabilities, schooling needs)

The mediator helps parties determine appropriate amounts and structures for child support and alimony payments, considering factors such as income, expenses, and lifestyle.

Agreement Drafting:

If consensus is reached, the mediator prepares a Memorandum of Understanding outlining terms, including who will pay, how payments will be made, and the structure of ongoing payments.

Legal Finalisation (Optional):

You can ask a solicitor to draft a Consent Order to make the agreement legally binding and submit it to the family court.

Modifying Agreements and Handling Special Circumstances

Agreements can be reviewed and adjusted as circumstances change, such as changes in income, remarriage, or death of a party. Agreements may also include provisions for the termination of alimony or child support under certain conditions, such as remarriage or a set expiration date. Mediation can also help resolve pending disputes or disagreements about additional expenses like private schooling or extracurricular activities.

What If Mediation Doesn’t Work?

If one party refuses to mediate or no agreement is reached, the mediator issues a MIAM certificate, allowing parties to apply to court.

Making Agreements Legally Binding

To ensure enforceability:

1. Ask a solicitor to draft a Consent Order.

2. Submit it to the Family Court.

Once approved, the agreement becomes legally binding and enforceable.

You cannot enforce a private agreement through the courts unless it’s turned into a Consent Order.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is mediation mandatory before applying to court?

Yes - you must usually attend a MIAM before going to court, unless exempt (e.g., domestic abuse or urgency).

Can I mediate child support or alimony even if we don’t agree on other issues?

Absolutely. Partial agreements are common and can include finances or parenting arrangements, even if other matters remain unresolved.

What if my financial situation changes later?

You can return to mediation to review and adjust agreements, avoiding court intervention.

Final Thoughts: Mediation Makes Financial Support Simpler

If you and your ex are committed to putting your child’s and family’s wellbeing first, mediation offers:

• A safe, structured space to talk

• A chance to avoid court

• Tools to build a cooperative future

Laws regarding child support and alimony may vary by country, so it's important to consider local regulations when making arrangements.

Some parties may agree to a lump-sum payment in lieu of ongoing support payments as an alternative to traditional arrangements.

Start your journey today with a quick, online MIAM through Digital MIAM. As an established provider of family mediation services, our expert mediators provide the expertise and support needed to reach agreements that work for you and your family.