At Digital MIAM, we believe children should be seen, heard, and supported — especially during family separation. Child-inclusive mediation gives children the chance to express their thoughts and feelings in a private, neutral space, so the arrangements their parents make are informed by what really matters to them, without ever placing them in the middle of conflict.

What child-inclusive mediation is

Child-inclusive mediation is a specialist form of mediation in which a specially trained mediator meets with your child — usually aged around 10 or above — to give them a safe space to talk about how the separation is affecting them. It is important to be clear about what it is not: children are never asked to make decisions, choose between parents, or take sides. It is simply about allowing their voice to be part of the process, without any pressure.

In a Child-inclusive mediation session, the mediator might explore topics like:

• Who they’ll live with and how often they’ll see each parent

• Whether they’ll stay in their current home, school, or friendship groups

• How the separation is affecting their daily life, clubs, or extended family contact

• Any worries they haven’t felt comfortable sharing directly with a parent
  

After the meeting, the mediator only shares with parents the feedback the child has agreed can be passed on. Everything else stays confidential, which protects the child's trust in the process.

Why parents choose it

Child-inclusive mediation may help where a child is showing signs of distress or confusion about the separation, where communication between parents is difficult and you want to be sure your child is not caught in the middle, or where you simply want to understand how your child really feels before making decisions about their day-to-day life.

Research consistently shows that when children are given the opportunity to express their views during separation, they feel more respected, less anxious, and better supported. Including children in mediation helps to:

• Reduce emotional distress and confusion

• Give children a sense of stability and inclusion

• Help parents gain clarity on their child’s true feelings

• Reduce misunderstandings and long-term emotional impact
  

How the process works

Parents first attend a MIAM to explore whether child-inclusive mediation is suitable. Both parents must consent to invite the child to take part. A specially trained mediator then meets the child — virtually or in person — to understand their perspective. The mediator shares agreed feedback with the parents, and with the child's voice included, parents work towards arrangements that support their child's wellbeing. The child never attends sessions with their parents.

Consent and safeguarding

Child-inclusive mediation only goes ahead where it is appropriate for the child's age and understanding, where the child agrees to take part, and where both parents consent. A child's participation is always voluntary — if they do not want to take part, their wishes are respected. Mediators follow safeguarding practices designed to protect children at every stage, and children are never put under pressure to say anything or take sides.

A child-centred path forward

With Digital MIAM's online approach, families can access the whole process from home, which makes it far less intimidating for children. Child-inclusive mediation forms part of our specialist mediation service (from £200 per session), and it starts, like all mediation, with a MIAM from £95. If you want to build a co-parenting plan that truly centres your child, we can help — with your child's voice at the heart of it.