Family mediation helps separating couples reach agreement on children, finances, and practical arrangements — without going to court. This guide explains every stage of the process, so you know exactly what to expect before you begin.

What family mediation is

Family mediation is a structured process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps two people who are separating or divorcing to communicate, explore their options, and reach their own agreements. The mediator does not take sides, impose decisions, or give legal advice. Their role is to structure the conversation, keep it productive, and help both people find solutions that work for their circumstances. It is distinct from counselling, which focuses on the relationship, and from legal advice, which focuses on rights — mediation is facilitated negotiation, and the parties decide.

What can be resolved

Mediation can address almost any issue arising from separation. The most common are child arrangements (where children live, time with each parent, holidays, schooling, and communication between households), financial settlements (the family home, savings, pensions, maintenance, and debts), and practical separation matters (dividing possessions and agreeing interim arrangements during the transition).

The stages of mediation

• Stage 1 — MIAM. Each person attends an individual Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. This is usually required before a family court application. The mediator explains how mediation works, assesses suitability, and answers your questions.

• Stage 2 — Joint sessions. If both people agree to proceed, joint sessions are arranged — typically lasting one to one and a half hours. The mediator sets the agenda and facilitates the discussion.

• Stage 3 — Agreement. If agreement is reached, the mediator produces a written summary — a Memorandum of Understanding — recording what was decided. For financial matters, this can be converted into a legally binding consent order through the court.

• Stage 4 — Certificate. Whether or not agreement is reached, the mediator issues MIAM certificates that are required for any court application.
  

Why choose mediation over court

Contested court proceedings are adversarial, slow, and expensive. A contested financial case can take well over a year, with legal costs running into tens of thousands of pounds, and the process can badly damage a co-parenting relationship that both people will need to sustain afterwards. Mediation is typically resolved within a few months, at a fraction of the cost, and because the parties reach the agreement themselves, it is more likely to be honoured. It is also private, whereas court proceedings can become a matter of record. Mediation is not a soft option — it is a practical, structured alternative that works well when both people are willing to engage honestly.

How to start

The starting point for almost everyone is the MIAM. This is where you receive a proper assessment of whether mediation is right for you, ask your questions, and hear how the process works. At Digital MIAM, the whole process is online: MIAMs start at £95, joint mediation is available from £130 per hour per person, and every case is handled by an FMC-registered mediator. Legal aid may cover costs if you qualify, and the Mediation Voucher Scheme provides up to £500 towards sessions involving children. When you are ready, you can book your MIAM in minutes.