If domestic abuse or safeguarding concerns are part of your situation, you do not have to navigate this alone. This guide explains how mediators assess safety, when mediation is not appropriate, what happens to your certificate, and where to find specialist support.

If you are in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (free, 24 hours) on 0808 2000 247, or call 999 if you or your children are at immediate risk. The information here is for when you are safe and able to consider your options.

How mediators assess safety

Every MIAM includes a safety screening process. Before arranging any joint sessions — and, in some cases, before concluding the MIAM itself — the mediator assesses whether mediation is safe and appropriate for both people. This covers whether either party has experienced domestic abuse, coercive control, or harassment; whether there is a significant power imbalance that would prevent genuine negotiation; and whether there are any safeguarding concerns about a child. This screening is standard practice for all FMC-registered mediators. You do not have to request it, and you can be honest — what you say in your MIAM is confidential and is not shared with the other person or the court, except in the limited circumstances explained below.

When mediation is assessed as unsuitable

If the mediator concludes that abuse, coercive control, a significant power imbalance, or active safeguarding concerns mean mediation cannot proceed safely, they will assess it as unsuitable. This does not mean your case has failed. The mediator issues your MIAM certificate recording that mediation was assessed as unsuitable — not that you failed to engage — and you can include it with your court application in the usual way. Courts accept this outcome, and a certificate noting unsuitability is as valid as one following an attempted mediation. You are not required to prove abuse to the mediator's satisfaction; the assessment is about safety, not about making a legal finding.

The domestic abuse MIAM exemption

If you have evidence of domestic abuse, you may be able to apply to court without attending a MIAM at all. This is the domestic abuse exemption, set out in Practice Direction 3A. Accepted evidence includes a police caution, arrest, or conviction; a non-molestation or occupation order; a letter from a GP, health visitor, midwife, or nurse; a referral from a domestic abuse support organisation; a letter from a local authority confirming child protection concerns; or a referral from a MARAC. You do not need to have the evidence in hand before you contact a mediator or solicitor — they can advise on what is needed and how to obtain it.

The limits of confidentiality

Mediation is conducted on a confidential, without-prejudice basis, but there are important exceptions relating to safeguarding. If information indicates that a child is at risk of harm, the mediator has a statutory duty to report it to the appropriate authority, regardless of confidentiality — the safety of a child takes precedence. This duty is a legal obligation, not a discretionary choice, and it is not a reason to withhold information about abuse directed at you as an adult.

Specialist support

You do not have to face this alone.

1. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours, run by Refuge) offers confidential advice and safety planning.

2. Women's Aid (womensaid.org.uk) supports women and children.

3. The ManKind Initiative (01823 334 244) supports male victims.

4. Galop (0800 999 5428) supports LGBT+ people.

5. Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk) offers free practical guidance.
   

When you are ready

When it is safe to do so, a MIAM is the first step — and you can take it entirely on your own, with no pressure to proceed beyond the meeting. Our online MIAMs are held privately by video call with FMC-registered mediators. You can be honest about everything you have experienced.